"Dreams"

Hello! I'm back again. I want to be a productive, but sometimes the time like didn't gain me a chance. Uhm, guys, previously you can skip this topic if you don't like or if you feel it's unimportant thing. 

I wanna share about my experienced. I'm sure, that you've knew I'm a senior student in High School, which is this year I'll be graduate. Forget it about the pandemic or disaster. Yeah, I've told in my previous post. This world has been getting a such worst condition! CORONA VIRUS!

Every single person has their own dreams, right? Same as me, I also have! Since in my X class, I have a plan to get full scholarship. I'm not a rich person, but I have dreams to make my life become a better. I want to make my parents happy and never suffering because my fault or my foolish. I don't want that.

Spesifically, my big dream is continuing my higher education with full scholarship in oversea. I know, it's very BIG lying, for some apart of people. Then, I ever got some mocks from them. Yeah, I don't want to talk this. But yeah, when I contrive my plan, I often think, is it can be a reality? Who am I? Am I a big person? Am I have some authorize? I thin'k I no! But, my desire is very purity now. I wanna make a positive impact to my surrounding. It's too complicated if I tell in here. 

Start from, I'm join in every competition, join in OSIS, MPK, science club, english debate, theathre club and more. Even I felt I was tired and nothing gain appreciated or rewards from that all. I knew, became a winner just a BONUS. But, please God that all I did, to through the obstacle, might it will be useful in the future when I deal to enroll some scholarship. Yeah, just in my mind. 

Do you know how my feeling? Knowing that I never get a medal, I'm flop, I'm not a winner, it's very suck. I was mad, and I complain to God. "God, where your justice?" "God, are you hear me?" "God, I've did everything as much as, I've did the best from me, but why you aren't still grant my wish?" Idk, maybe this is very shallow, but I just a human, and I have the limit. So, in that time, I begin a little hopeless. Hm :(

Of course, my dream to get a full scholarship for undergraduate is still passionate. But, nowadays I just turn over all to God. I don't know, how God will change my life. But, if there is still a hope, please God, make my dream become a reality. Explore the world, meet new people from variety background, learn about life, share love careful and etc. 

Oh ya, if you ask me who my idol? I'll answer Gita Savitri! I was read her book "Rentang Kisah". I got so much lesson from there. And Kak Gita will be launching her second book, which title "A Cup of Tea”. Maybe, I'll tell about Kak Gita in another post, Insya Allah. No, Idk how about Kak Gita's life. But I wanna tell about how she's inspiring me and educating her surrounding. 

Anyway, the announcement about SNMPTN is soon. But, I'm not too expect about it. Unless, I don't know how the realm is working to me, and I don't want to broke my heart when I know I'm not a succesfull candidate. But yeah, back about my dreams, I want to go oversea, explore everything that I can, and learn anything, and growth as a humankind.